My partner Patrick and I are creating a group program for individuals and partners who are in the beginning stages of ethical non-monogamy and want to start on the right foot. Find out when registration opens!
Are you moving towards ethical non-monogamy, but you or your partner have hesitations or fears about it?
Relationships are not one-size-fits-all. Designing your relationship(s) around your unique needs and desires could look SO many different ways. That's why this is so much bigger than "non-monogamy," "open relationships" or "polyamory". This is Relationship Design.
We offer step-by-step guidance for creating a relationship that authentically works for you and whoever you're with, beyond labels or social convention.
Even if you and your partner seem to want different things when it comes to opening up, we will help you bridge the gap.
...but you and your partner have different comfort levels with the idea of an open relationship or conflicting ideas about what it would look like. Perhaps you also have trust or communication issues you need healed first. We'll help you explore all the options available to you and design your relationship agreements in the most supportive way possible—by empowering you to deeply connect with each other first, then exploring baby steps together.
If you have already experimented with opening your relationship and it was difficult or painful (perhaps involving a breach of trust) and now you're left with confusion, pain and/or differing desires for how to move forward, this program will walk you step-by-step through how to try again in a healthier way. In this program, learn how to rebuild trust, gain clarity on your relationship agreements, and feel more intimately connected to your partner.
- Chris & Lina H.
If you and your partner have different desires around opening up, we're not going to push one of you to change nor shame one of you for being too "needy," too vanilla, too kinky, too desiring, etc. Both of your needs are valid. We will help you find win-win solutions and design a relationship that works for both of you.
In our longterm non-monogamous partnership, Patrick and I have been on both sides of the story. Sometimes, one of us wants more freedom than the other person does, and it brings up insecurity and jealousy. We both intimately understand the struggles that can come along with opening up your relationship.
This program creates a structured, ritualistic space in which you will both feel seen for what you want and accepted for where you're at.
Janel is a certified sex & relationship coach and anti-shame advocate. Her passion is helping partners transform fear, jealousy and insecurity into deeper connection and more authentic, fulfilling sex lives.
She became a coach because of her own personal journey of overcoming shame about her non-monogamous relationship orientation and bisexuality.
After 14 years of Catholic school, she knew she needed to go on a journey of self-discovery in order to love herself. So, she traveled the world as a cruise ship singer, lived on communes, experimented with polyamory, hiked 5,000 miles across the US and took 400 hours of coaching trainings. Along the way, she learned how to face her fears, embrace what she really wants in life and love, and talk about her needs without shame.
Now, Janel is here to help you create a more open, authentic relationship that truly fits you.
Challenged with painful relationships and mental health struggles in his early twenties, Patrick has studied interpersonal dynamics, compassionate communication, and human behavior for more than a fifteen years. He's passionate about helping others develop more intimate relationships, supporting people to love themselves more deeply, and educating about interpersonal and systemic power dynamics.
Patrick has worked in the private and nonprofit sector, including a period working for the Burning Man organization, taking high schoolers on weeklong wilderness backpacking excursions, and running an independent nonprofit consulting business. He has a BS and MBA from UC Berkeley and is a CTI certified coach. He has done hundreds of hours of communication and facilitation trainings, including classes on nonviolent communication, antiracism and anti-oppression, and group counseling.
Is this a private coaching program or an online course?
We have different tiers of support available ranging from highly personalized, customized coaching to a self-study online course.
Once you apply, we'll reach out to you about the options if we believe that this program can help you and your partner(s).
Our Relationship Design coursework consists of 70 pre-recorded lessons that include a mix of video, audio, writing and reflection assessments that you will have 24/7 access to for 90 days.
Is this program for couples only?
We designed this program for partners to experience together, though there is also individuals' work included as a part of that.
However, a partner unit can comprise more than 2 people, so if you're a throuple or a poly family, you're welcome here!
Registration is per partner unit, not per person. If you have more than 2 people in your partner unit, all of you will have access to this program for 90 days.
If your partner is hesitant about taking a relationship design journey with you, we invite you to have them reach out to us so we can support them in their process, answer their questions and address their concerns.
What if my partner wants an open relationship but I'm not sure?
Welcome. You are not alone. Most of the couples in this program come to us because they are struggling with different desires for their relationship structure.
This is a Relationship Design journey with your partner. It's not to coerce you into being in a relationship structure that doesn't work for you. Just like no two people are the same, no two relationships are the same. This is an empowering journey that will help you create a relationship that is more authentic to BOTH of you, not to one of you!
And, to be honest, consensual non-monogamy could look like so many different things. Even just talking about unconventional desires or attraction to others in an empathetic, validating way is a powerful shift away from the standard narrative of relationships that will bring you closer together.
Will I have access after 90 days?
This is an 3-month intensive with unlimited access for the duration of your time in the program.
We have found that a limited time frame is most effective for our students' growth because it provides the structure, accountability and motivation to focus on and complete the program.
What's the investment for this program?
We have different tiers of support available ranging from a self-study online course to a highly personalized and customized coaching journey. Once you apply, we'll reach out to explore your options if we believe that we can help you and your partner(s).
BIPOC or LGTBQIA+ folks: we invite you to apply for one of our scholarship spots. Simply let us know in your application that you identify as a member of a marginalized group and request financial assistance in order to participate.
Is there a money-back guarantee?
We have made our program as accessible as possible by offering a payment plan in addition to our pay-in-full option.
If you identify as a member of a marginalized group (i.e. BIPOC, LGBTQIA+) and require additional assistance to participate, please talk to us about your needs as soon as possible. We are happy to explore a solution with you.
What's your refund policy?
There are no refunds for this program to ensure that all participants are 100% committed. We work with high-achieving people who won't throw in the towel if and when the going gets a little tough. This program is fun and connective and it will challenge your assumptions and expectations about sexuality—both yours and your partner's. A willingness to face a manageable level of discomfort is a prerequisite.
That being said, we are confident that you will be completely satisfied with the quality and quantity of the content, support and resources you will receive in this program.
If you or your partner feels unhappy with the program at ANY point, reach out to your success coach or our customer support team immediately. We will find a way to make it right.
Does this count as therapy?
I am not a licensed therapist. I hold a certification in sex & relationship coaching from the Somatica Institute. Though it is a connective and cathartic experience, this program is not a substitute for mental health therapy.
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